i had some major meltdowns yesterday.
My man took pity on me as i sobbed into the phone that i was lost and hated life and couldn't handle any "dealing with".
i think i am going to ask him to "get it over with" this morning before i have another melt down.
i seriously hate my hormones. and hope. i hate hope. because all of this could be lining up nicely for a "big fat positive" on a pregnancy test, but we all know my body likes to lie to me and i won't get one. i never get one.
**sigh** trust God's timing, trust God's goodness *mantra over and over*
<3 Love to you, sweet Polly. The three years it took me to have my first baby were possibly the longest, most stressful and disappointing years of my life! I remember my mantra every morning in the shower and anytime i got antsy was, "I am grateful in advance for the baby that is already on its way to me. All in divine timing"
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to believe now that I have two healthy babies, but when I couldn't get pregnant and was miscarrying, I had to really work at trusting.
that probably doesn't help to hear, but I just wanted to say that I totally understand your feelings, and have definitely been there.
hugs to you!
Thank you!! ****HUGS**** It always helps to hear from others that it's okay to be sad that i am not crazy. **HUG**
DeleteNo, it's so hard not to obsess, feel impatient, mourn every period-- all of that. Be sweet to yourself, "mother" YOURSELF to call in that energy.
ReplyDelete((more hugs))