In the last week My Man and I have had sex once. Even in our "pre-kink" days a whole week gone by without being intimate would have been odd.
I am not even sure WHY this is the case. I think it's partially because we are both working, we are working semi-strange hours. (We leave the house together around noon or 1 and then we get back to the house together around 11) We are tired and out of it. Sex is hard, it's not something relaxing or "chill". When we are not at work we just want to veg in front of the tv, read a book, SLEEP!
But, I wonder if there is something wrong with this. We are snuggling, we hug and kiss, we express our love verbally every day. Is sex really THAT important?
Part of me says yes, because I have been told my whole life that if a husband and wife are not having sex they are going to grow apart, that sex is vital, that a marriage will die without it.
But, then, another part of me says That's bullcocky! There are marriage where one of the spouses is unable to have sex and they still love each other and work hard at their marriage. Or when couples get old I KNOW some of them are not getting jiggy with it and they have a deep love and care for each other.
I do miss it in some senses, but I also feel like I can find my fulfillment in My Man in ways other that intercourse.
He misses it though. And that is where the selfishness comes in. Yesterday he tried several times to "get something started", but I kept turning him down because "it's my first day off." "we have so much to do" "we don't have time" "it doesn't feel good right now"... I just wasn't in the mood or have any desire for sex. :-/ I know some of it is my cycle, but some of it is mental too - Sex doesn't come easy for me and so if we haven't done it in "a long time" the thought of trying to get it started just makes me so weary.
I think I will try to be available when My Man comes home today, so he can know I love him and just in case there is something missing in a sexless marriage. :-p