Sunday, October 7, 2012

Bored? Weary? Selfish?

In the last week My Man and I have had sex once. Even in our "pre-kink" days a whole week gone by without being intimate would have been odd.

I am not even sure WHY this is the case. I think it's partially because we are both working, we are working semi-strange hours. (We leave the house together around noon or 1 and then we get back to the house together around 11) We are tired and out of it. Sex is hard, it's not something relaxing or "chill". When we are not at work we just want to veg in front of the tv, read a book, SLEEP!

But, I wonder if there is something wrong with this. We are snuggling, we hug and kiss, we express our love verbally every day. Is sex really THAT important?

Part of me says yes, because I have been told my whole life that if a husband and wife are not having sex they are going to grow apart, that sex is vital, that a marriage will die without it.

But, then, another part of me says That's bullcocky! There are marriage where one of the spouses is unable to have sex and they still love each other and work hard at their marriage. Or when couples get old I KNOW some of them are not getting jiggy with it and they have a deep love and care for each other.

I do miss it in some senses, but I also feel like I can find my fulfillment in My Man in ways other that intercourse.

He misses it though. And that is where the selfishness comes in. Yesterday he tried several times to "get something started", but I kept turning him down because "it's my first day off." "we have so much to do" "we don't have time" "it doesn't feel good right now"... I just wasn't in the mood or have any desire for sex. :-/ I know some of it is my cycle, but some of it is mental too - Sex doesn't come easy for me and so if we haven't done it in "a long time" the thought of trying to get it started just makes me so weary.

I think I will try to be available when My Man comes home today, so he can know I love him and just in case there is something missing in a sexless marriage. :-p


  1. hmmm i think in terms of finding submission, being available for sex really helps. and there's nothing like being so lusted after that helps make a woman feel wanted and loved is there?

    Still, i hope you manage to get your mind back into it and ENJOY it too - not just do 'it' for the sake of... God knows i know what that's like too!

    good luck!

    (and nice to meet you... just found your blog... hope you don't think i'm being too nosey. just sharing thoughts... and sending you positive vibes!!)

  2. (would you consider adding a followers widget so it's easy for us to follow you?)

  3. Hi Fondles!

    Thanks so much for checking out my blog!!

    It SHOULD have that affect, but most of the time for me it just makes me feel used, guilty, and annoyed. I DID initiate last night though and we had an amazing quickie! :) Thanks though!!

    I have tried to figure out how to do a "subscribe" button and I just cannot figure it out - if you know how please pass it on to me! :D

    1. There is a space for your email up top to subscribe now, but it doesn't look as pretty as other people's blogs...?

  4. oh i think you should move that widget to the side bar. on your blogger page where you can add things, you can actually drag and drop it to the side.

    but what i was talking about was the "followers" part. Which i see is up there now. and that REALLY makes it easier for people to click and follow your wonderful blog.

    thanks for doing that!

    and glad you got your quickie! I'm sure your man was happy about it too!