Thursday, May 30, 2013

I'M SORRY I DIED!! ;-) SO MANY PICS!!!!!!!

Hey Guys!!

So, sorry it's been almost 2 weeks since I wrote, commented, was around pretty much at all!! :-p

We've had some crazy times *nothing serious just normal busyness* and as with some other bloggers - when  I am not getting "disciplined" I can feel like there is nothing to say. :)

For our anniversary Wed, but were celebrating Thur, My Man specifically asked me to buy some "fuck me pumps" (thank you Kristen Ashley for the phrase ;)) and I asked if I could spend 20 bucks on a dress to go with them. He said yes!!! He rarely says no when I ask permission to spend money, so you'd think I'd ASK more and suffer the consequences later less. :-p :)

I did hot curlers and lots of hair spray in my hair, then we went to a midnight showing of Iron Man 3 and his favorite burger place and CHIPOTLE!!!

My Man had to go on a business trip somewhere a couple hours away, and I needed to come back early and then go back and get him. SO HE LET ME BUY A GPS!!!!!!! He gave me a set amount to spend and when I realized there was only one GPS at that price and it looked like a piece of crap I tried several times to call him to ask if I could buy the one 30 bucks more, but did not have cell service. So I purchased the pricier one and saved all of the receipts and plastic and stuff, so he could take it back if he thought we needed to. HE LET ME KEEP IT!!! And I felt very responsible, like I was a grown woman who was making a decision for myself, but at the same time respecting my husband and trying to honor his requests and... I just felt like it was a good situation. :)

First,  Friday night we went to visit his grandparents in Richmond for one night (His grandfather was very sick in the hospital), and I got to meet his amazing Aunt. THEN, Saturday night he had to go on his business trip, so I rode along and got to chill in the hotel room Sunday!! I watched the entire 4th season of Gossip Girl! ;-) ALSO, we finally got to test out the "fuck me pumps" and I am pleased to say for the first time ever we had sex standing up and it was AMAZING!!!!! I say standing up and first time - I was leaned over a desk he was standing up and now that I think of it we DID manage this on a countertop on our honey moon in a bathroom at a religious conference. ;-) But, it was really awkward them and a really high counter we have not found since. so, it was amazing. (and I am really wordy and awkward there, but I am going to leave it because it's how I talk ;-))

He took me to a fun restaurant and we just enjoyed being together. Then, Monday morning I drove home, picked up the girls I nanny, and cleaned a teeny bit at home. I was supposed to watch them Tue and then drive out to Cambridge, MD again, but their dad texted at noon and said that he was getting off of work early, so he was gonna get them, so I drove BACK to Cambridge (I was very pleased with myself for driving so far and long and fast all alone!!! I decided if I ever get pulled over for speeding I'll tell the cop "My husband will spank me if I get a ticket!! Please just give me a warning!" What I don't plan to tell the cop is I bet getting pulled over for speeding - when I am know I am speeding - might trigger that anyways. Although, he has told me the acceptable "overage" and I tend to stay about there :)) and stayed in the hotel more, then he drove us both back the next day.

In fertility news - I am now taking 3 metformin pills a day, and the last 2 cycles were very "normal" like, they were 31 days and I have obvious ovulation sighs and then 13 days later had a period. So, I feel like there might be hope? We'll see. At this point we are waiting for his job situation to improve - IE more money - and then we will move on to actual fertility meds!!! :)

I think that's all right now... oh except that I had my siblings here from Fri - Tue and since then have been increasingly cheeky, so my guess is at some point soon I'll have a "cherry red post(eior)" up here! :) ;-)


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY!!!

Today is My Man and I's 4th anniversary. Our marriage and relationship and journey is so short compared to so many of your's. We met when he was 6 and I was 10, but we weren't even close friends until almost 5 years ago when he asked me to consider courting him. It's been a wild and crazy ride, but I love this man so much that sometimes it's hard to breathe. :D

This is what I made him for our anniversary -


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FREE ORAL PLAY (on you or by you)
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FREE DISH WASHING(right away!)
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FREE SHOW/MOVIE (my attn for duration)
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FREE ROOM CLEAN (complete!)
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FREE BED MAKING (5 USES <><><><><>)

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Today's Money Funny...

The Scene: At the mall with my 2 "charges" 10 and 6 years old. One of those "vendors" pulls me aside and begs me to let him use his straightener on my hair. I keep trying to tell him I've had it done before, but he begs, and I REALLY enjoy it, so I let him. He does his little spiel and then tells me it's "only 89.99", "Super special just today." Now, I AM wanting to buy one soon, mine broke and I Really miss it. But I am like "I can't. I Really can't," and he says why.

So, I smile at the girls and ask them "Why?"

6 year old: She's not allowed to spend money.

Man incredulously: Whaaaaaat?

6 YO: She has a boss. He lives in her house.

Man: A boss??

6 YO: Yup. He's her HUSBAND! He thinks it's HIS house and HIS money. And when she spends it without asking...whew... BIG trouble...

Man: *eyes really big* For real?

6 YO: Mmmhmm... I think he is gonna kick her out of the house soon.

Me jumping in: No no, he will never kick me out honey. Kick my butt maybe, but never kick me out.

Man: Well, CALL him... ask permission.

Me: I already did and he said no. But, I'm saving up!! Really! I'm going to!

6 YO: My Mom and Dad have money, buut... my mom would never let my dad say it's all his money.

Man says something to Co-worker in his language, then looks at me: Well, I believe you and don't want you in trouble. Have a great day.

I have to say it's the LEAST badgering I've ever gotten from a clerk before. I should be brutally honest with everyone. ;-)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Sooo... that whole "not getting spanked" thing....

:-p

If anyone has been reading my blog for any length of time you'd probably guess pretty quickly what I got spanked for tonight.

I cannot for the life of me figure out my compulsion to spend random money.

I guess I better back up....

So, like I said in my last post this week has been pretty intense as far as not a lot of sleep and stuff. So, today was like the worst. or the second worst. It's just between not having a GPS (it got stolen) and rush hour traffic and just...being exhausted. I keep getting lost and just having a rough time of it.

So, I was already overflowing with pent up emotions. And needing release. But, it was semi-managable. He fed me. I was feeling a bit better.

And then we got home and it just hit in the GUT... I was going to tell him about this letter I received today from this girl "we" gave $25 to in order to help her get to college. (she is the youngest of 11 children and has parents who are not big fans of college and yeah...)How she was so grateful and happy, and as I was going to tell him all of the sudden I just STOPPED. And I realized over the last week I'd sent her $25 and spent $25 on this stupid "mystery box deal" where they send you a box with $100 worth of stuff in it for $15 bucks, and I had a coupon, so I got some off and bought two. (looking back NO idea what the hell was going through my mind) So... basically I'd spent $50 that I not only had not asked him about, but I also hadn't TOLD him because I figured "it will be okay." SAME SCENARIO AS ALWAYS. Only for whatever reason, I felt REALLY REALLY REALLY guilty. And I couldn't get the words out. 

He cornered me and basically drew it out of me word by word. He didn't get mad. He didn't yell. He wasn't like "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" he just said "You shouldn't have done that. I am dissapointed we are dealing with this again." and went to get ready for bed. He didn't withdraw, he let me know I could come back and hang out with him. He was super... nice? But I was just wracked with guilt. And he could see it. So he asked me if I thought I should be punished. Well, I wasn't sure what to say. There were so many things going through my mind. Main 2 were - 1. I don't WANT to be spanked, like it's not going to turn me on at this moment. 2. I feel like if he doesn't spank me I am going to combust. I feel so guilty and heavy hearted, but if he DOES spank me in order to relieve my guilt isn't that just rewarding me for being bad? Don't I deserve to just have guilt guy?

Finally, he kept asking and I said "Yes." So, he told me to bend over and he spanked me. It was pretty "normal" for us, but he prefaced it with "this isn't going to be a short one" and I knew I didn't deserve a "little spanking". So, after he was done he leaned over and asked if I felt "properly chastised" I asked him if it was okay to be honest, and he said "Yes, please." So, I told him that I wasn't "Enjoying" it, but that I felt like I deserved about 4x as much as he had delivered. So he did about 3x more. It was perfect. Not perfect like I liked it or it got me off...I actually cried after although not from pain, but just from release of tension and guilt. But, perfect like it was exactly what I needed to feel "chastised".

Then we had sex for the first time in like 2 weeks.

He was so completely loving throughout the entire process. And after we both agreed this was probably one of our most "purely punishment" spankings.

His last words before he left the bedroom to shower were "wow... those welts are REALLY impressive." and I said "You did that to me. No... actually *I* did that to me." ;-)

Remind me not to spend money without talking to him. it's not that hard of a concept!! 

Things are slow, but steady on the homefront...

We haven't done anything even a little kinky in weeks, heck we haven't even had sex in over a week. :-p Maybe 2 weeks actually?


I was on my period and than this week he is working 12 hour days and we have to be up before 6am (which is like 6 hours earlier than when he normally gets up, so it's been REALLY hard), although I'll admit even when we are regular much of the time it's like this  -

Even without sex or any sort of discipline I feel like we are doing well. We snuggle a lot, we have had some tensions and shortness because of tiredness, but I feel like we have both done a good job of guarding out words and thinking about the other person's needs.

It's funny how I can feel like I am not growing or changing at all, I am stopping myself from being disrespectful or apologizing a lot... and I can feel down only to realize that the fact that I am aware enough to stop or to apologize means I am having success and growth. :)

Other than a baby the 3 things I want most in the world right now are -



Umm... I just needed the beach with My Man, but hey that could be fun too ;)

Monday, May 6, 2013

Everything I ever wanted....

Everything I need....

We had our first dance to the Brad Paisley song "Everything To Me" and for some reason it was what stuck out in my mind as I sat down to write today.

I think it's interesting how some days I can feel like everything My Man does is "Wrong" and "stupid" and whatever, and then when the fog clears in my brain I realize that he really IS everything I ever wanted. All I have wanted my entire life was to be a wife and mother. Granted, the mother part was always on top, but I would make list after list of what I wanted in a man.

Some of the ones that showed up on every list...

Taller than me - check :)

Likes to read - double check :)

Likes to snuggle - oh yes, much to my chagrin most of the time THESE days :)

Likes to sing - YES

Expressive in worship - YES

Loves Jesus - YES YES YES! :)

Want kids - it seems every month that passes this is more and more true for him. Maybe God has us waiting so that he could catch up with my desire ;-)

Somethings that I wanted, but never thought I'd get were -

Will give me red haired children - there is a VERY VERY Good chance we will produce red-haired children (and I don't mean the step child kind ;-))

Will spank me. *smile* This is a desire I've had as long as I had unrestricted access to internet. As long as I knew there were people like that out there I wanted it. And it's funny because I didn't think I'd find someone who loved Jesus, was not an abuser or legalist, and would spank me. And God sent me the perfect man for me. He is gentle and tender and loving and giving and understanding...but he is firm when I need it. And I LOVE that. I LOVE that he gives me what I want 95% of the time... it doesn't make him less of a man or an "abdicator of the  husbandly role" it just means he loves me. And I love that. ;-)

http://youtu.be/Xrid-Ok2_yE

She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowin
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving 


And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
because she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
Of my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing


She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes 
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one 
That I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah shes everything to me
everything to me