Sunday, October 20, 2013

I'm Sorry.

I'm sorry I post so infrequently. I'm sorry I can't make it my damn mind. I'm sorry it's often so word-vomity around here. :-p

I don't have time to write a long post today, but I have been thinking about it tons!! I have been processing a lot in my brain and how to say things a LOT recently. :)

I don't think that deep inside I really AM a submissive and it's breaking my heart. Is it possible to be a defiant submissive? ;-) I love being "taken in hand", but I hate being "bossed around". I love that feeling of "submissive butterflies" that washes over me, but I hate "being treated like a subservient". It thrills me when he "exerts dominance", but it makes me rage when he "tries to control me". I am a mixed up mess!!

I'll leave you with a few memes and try to post a longer one soon!!

aaaand I can t find any more that make my day today :-p


  1. I used to think that either you were submissive or you weren't, but if there is one thing I have learnt here in blog land it's how torn many women are about submitting. Unfortunately it is a tough place to be, I struggle with this when my hubby isn't consistent, if he backs off it's like I turn off my submissive side and it is soooo hard to come back into it. Have you been open with your hoh and told him how you really feel, perhaps you guys can come to middle ground? Like if he backs off on certain things, but you try to submit to other things with less of a fuss?

    - Tasha

    1. Hi Tasha! Thanks for your comment! :) He and I are communicating a LOT about all of this. I think the hardest thing for both of us is that I don't KNOW what I want. I know what "feels good" when I read it or imagine it, and I know what "felt good" when he did it last month or last year, but then out of the blue it will change and that thing I loved I will not hate. I think I have hormonal imbalances and they just make everything so much worse. :-p