Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Sorry I've been so absent...

I stopped posting much mostly because I feel like I don't fit into any box, and because I didn't fit a box that maybe I wasn't wanted. Also because my life doesn't look like the lives of the women I was reading all the time.


Turns out at least one of their lives doesn't look that way either.

So maybe being honest about who I am is okay, even if I don't fit any one box. :)  Maybe being authentic is more important than fitting in.

So update on the real me....

I am 30 years 10 months old. ;-)
I have been married for 5 years 2 months.
I got a job last week and started training today.
We are still waiting on fertility meds. I still wanna be a Mama like crazy.
I still get spanked on a regular basis,but most of the time it's just fun. I can't accept serious punishment yet, but I am in a pretty good place overall.
I am seeing a therapist for anxiety/depression, but I think I will stop seeing her soon. I don't think she is helping.
I am writing a lot lately. My dream is to get published by blushing books, but we will see what happens. :)
I roleplay online every day and now have 3 "little" characters and like 4 "Bigs" *laugh* never thought I'd be spankING twice as much as I receive, but it's fun. :-)
 I feel like every month I like sex more than the month before. We tried a new position. After 5 years of marriage and we tried a new position. we're nutso. ;-)

I feel like that's a pretty good recap of me. I am a crazy silly brat who struggles with anxiety and depression who doesn't really fit in anywhere or measure up anywhere or feel good enough or strong enough or beautiful enough, but... it's me. :) 


  1. Be the wonderful, beautiful and unique woman you were made to be. Enjoy the ride and make it your OWN - it's a journey not a competition. I wish I had come to that realization in my thirties. But alas, better late than never. You and the one you love will find your way. Just cherish the days - they go quickly.

  2. I think that it's more than okay to be honest about you. Who better to be than yourself?

    1. Aww thanks, Lil. I think there are some in the "the community" who don't like it when someone considers herself as a DD wife, but doesn't have the same type of submission that they do. I have run into this in BDSM circles, DD circles, even Big/Little circles... because I don't have all the components of any one people feel like I shouldn't be there. I have been told many times that My Man shouldn't have to put up with a brat like me.... well maybe he doesnt HAVE to, but he chooses too 'cause he loves me. Warts and all. :)

  3. Hi Polly,

    I think this community is large enough for everyone to fit in some way, shape or form. Just got caught up with what happen earlier this week.. WOW! Very sad and has me really confused, as I have been shown TONS of support and kindness from this community. Never once have I been told that I don't fit or belong (Well okay I had one nut job that was super rude and scary to be honest) but it makes me sad that you have been told or shown that you don't fit... :0(

    I am very happy to see you are pushing forward anyway, as you do fit!! Every relationship is different, it's what works between the two people in the relationship. I have read several blogs that made my jaw drop open!!! Seriously some stuff my hubby and I would NEVER try or even thing of to be honest, but that hasn't stopped us from reading those blogs. Different is good!!! :0)

    Irish Lucky

    1. Thanks Irish Lucky!! I appreciate the visit, and the comment, and the support! :-) I agree on the community being big enough. I am making friends, in real life friends even :), who are not AT ALL "in my box" as far as their kinks and desires and the way they live their lives, and yet we love each other and support each other and its great. :) ****HUG*****