Friday, October 10, 2014

Leave me the **** alone!!!

Sooooo.... I might have freaked out so bad on My Man last night I told him I was going to call the cops on him because he wouldn't get out of my personal space. Which I can now see was a dramatic response, but on the flip side there has GOT to be a way to get him to Leave Me Alone when I am having a freak out. :-p He wouldn't back up or stop trying to get me to talk to him or look at him... I wasnt in danger of hurting myself or anything else I just needed him to not be standing 6 inches from my face. :-p More background we got some crap news from the doctor yesterday and I was having a panic attack over the diet restrictions and needed him to just say "I trust you to work this out" instead he kept saying that I could do this if I put my mind to it and that If I wanted to try a different diet I needed to get the doctor to approve it and.. I just needed to be allowed to cry and freak out for a while alone. :-p We ended up working it out after I went to the bedroom and sobbed for awhile and researched and decided what diet changes I could make and actually stick to. I wanna be a cherished wife who is taken care of...who at the same time has the power to say "I am an adult and I am not going to talk to you right now." I also was VERY VERY panic attacky/worked up. Like just screaming losing it. So I can see how he interpreted that to mean "dont give into he hysterics", but I needed him to. I needed him to just say "I love you and I'll walk away, talk to me when you're ready."
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3 comments:

  1. Renee RoseOctober 11, 2014 at 12:28 AM

    Aw, I'm so sorry you lost it. Really, he's just doing his job as a dom by staying in your face and trying to fix it for you, but I totally understand. I need alone time to get myself together, too.

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    1. UnknownOctober 11, 2014 at 8:10 AM

      Seeee.... that's what he thinks too. And I think it's his job as my husband who loves me to listen to me when I say "Leave. Me. Alone." I know that he views it as caring for me and loving me to not back down. But I view it as power-hungry and abusive to not listen to me when I tell him to go away. I am not saying he IS those things, I am saying when I am not being listened to that is how it makes me feel.

      There has to be a happy middle ground here, where I get to say "I am not in the mood to "play" right now. I need to be the boss of me right now." and he views it like "We arent playing this is real life", but "real life" to me means I get to say "I am not doing this right now". And that is where we run into problems over and over and over. I want to be cherished not ruled. :-p

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  2. willieOctober 11, 2014 at 8:28 PM

    You know it is very difficult for them to figure things out. I know I send mix signals to my husband. Rather sometimes I want him to drag it from me, sometimes I want to be left alone.

    You know how many people talk about safe words for physical responses? Maybe you should think about one for emotional ones, and talk to him about all of this in a time of calm?

    As for real life and 'play' sounds like you both REALLY need to have a discussion.

    Good luck!
    willie

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