Would you be upset if your significant other donated $10 to a needy family without consulting you?
What if you had a "rule" that she consults you before "spending money". To me $10 isn't a big deal and it was for a good reason.
He isn't "mad" he just felt the need to lecture a lot.
Perhaps the two of you should negotiate a set amount of discretionary spending that you do not have to obtain his permission to spend. Perhaps anything over $50.00 or a certain amount each pay that is yours to spend as you please.
ReplyDeleteI do... I get around $100 out of each paycheck (so 200 a month) for my own spending, and my original plan was to take $10 out of my spending money, and he said if I had done that he wouldn't have cared. OR if I had asked him he wouldn't have said no, but it was the doing it without asking out of our bank account? to me $10 is nothing, but he says it's a pattern or something?? It makes me feel trapped. :-p
DeleteNo, I would not be upset. But I would be if she didn't tell me about it.
ReplyDeleteI told him about it like a week or two later :) his problem was that i didn't ask before hand? i'll admit part of the reason i didnt ask is because he can be a miser and i thought he would say no.
DeleteI wouldn't be upset if my CHILD did that, so why would I be upset if my wife, an adult, did it?
ReplyDeletei am glad you wouldn't be upset if your kid took $10 out of your bank account without asking you or telling you... what a trusting parent. ;-)
DeleteI'd be upset it wasn't a little more. :)
ReplyDeletelol, thank you. ;-)
Deleteyou know, it really depends on whether you have a history of justifying the way you spend... do you overspend... whether you guys have separate paychecks, if you earn your own money or you spend HIS money, whether you've decided that anything below a certain amount should be up to you to do with as you please, or whether you're in a bind and can't afford to give away that tenner.
ReplyDeleteso you see, without the facts, we really can't tell you...
yes
Deleteyes
i have my own money, and then the rest goes into the "general pot" it's supposed to be my money covers my expenses, dates/fun stuff, and helps pay off the credit cards, but we havent really done any CC stuff for awhile and it all gets muddled anyways. plus, in the new year instead of dates some of my money is supposed to help cover insurance. :-/
we have said that out of my cash i can do whatever i want, but out of the bank account im supposed to ask permission. but i rarely ask permission and unless i specifically tell him about the money he never notices or cares. i can even say "i bought xyz" today and he never asks where i got the money or anything... i prefer it that way. i dont like being "accountable" for spending OUR money :-p
and we could totally afford the tenner.
when you tell me you bought something, its implied that you spent your own money. If that's not the case, then we need to have another conversation.
ReplyDeleteThe only things you have carte blanche for is groceries and gas. Anything else needs permission.
when you tell me you bought something, its implied that you spent your own money. If that's not the case, then we need to have another conversation.
ReplyDeleteThe only things you have carte blanche for is groceries and gas. Anything else needs permission.