So, day 2 of "the diet" and I completely and utterly melted down on him.
"highlights"
It took us over an hour to get out of the house because I refused to get dressed...because I didn't want to go...
After he told me "If you hit me, I will cane/switch* you and you will not get a say" I hit him and then refused to let him spank me because "It's not fair"
I called him to come get me (on his cell phone) and locked the door.
HORRIBLE!! HORRIBLE times... and then I ate. And OMG... it was like a new amazing person took my place. I then went to the gym and walked on the treadmill for over 40 minutes. And I am happy as a clam... THIS is why I am so fat and we rarely have me diet because without "enough" food I TURN INTO A DEMON!!
Didi with food -
Didi Without Food -
Basically....
We had a really really good talk after te gym. Actually after dinner while we were still in the restaurant I knelt down next to his seat at the table and begged his forgiveness. This pleased him. ;-)
In other news he said he MAY get a name and pop in here sometimes -we'll see. :)
* I say it is a switch, he insists cane, but today started saying switch...
ReplyDeleteThis is me testing to see if his profile will work, apparently he had a blog when he was in college before we were together. I set the avatar ;)
ReplyDeleteIt worked!!!! Now he can comment and say "That's not how *I* remember it..." ;-)
DeleteI set his college blog to private just...'cause :D
Oh part of our good talk tonight included me telling him it made me sad that he doesn't mind people seeing my body, and him telling me he actually doesn't prefer the "nudeish" pics I put on here, so I tried to take them all down :)
Deleteoh gee it seems like you two have a lot on your plate, figuring out just what is and isn't allowed huh?
ReplyDeleteSTOP TESTING HIM! tsk... sigh. and good job on the BJ from the other comment you left... sorry, i've been a little out of it - haven't been reading as much.
We are more trying to figure out what we/I want... I want him to "push my limits" in the abstract, but then I have panic attacks when he does. Example - yesterday because I kept kicking him when he was trying to spank me he tied my feet down... I FLIPPED OUT!! I started hyperventilating and shaking... NO IDEA what was going on. I just got panicked.
DeleteBut testing him is how this works... if I don't test him how am I supposed to know if he is in charge?
it's all good - you're a busy lady :D
testing him will confuse him. it's not the way you know that he's in charge. as i've told many when i realised this - the way to know he's in charge is to behave submissively. he naturally picks up on that and becomes more dominant.
Deleteoffer to make tea, coffee, i about murdered BIKSS with my personal butlering service this trip. he first felt strange that i'd be doing stuff he ordinarily did himself.
but by yesterday i asked if he could drink his vit c, and he nodded. and after that he himself asked me to fetch him some plain water. and was about to request some paracetamol but i read his mind and suggested it at the same time.
i think it takes practice for them to be dominant too.
BIKSS reads your blog as well, and says that i should advise you to remain submissive and not test your husband... because it is terribly confusing.
*i didn't test him early on and he was already taking some time to figure out what all this was about... so if you test your HoH it'll take longer to get there!*
Ok, that's my message from BIKSS.
good luck sweetie. just BE SUBMISSIVE.