... But against abortion.
Ok, what I MEAN is... I say "my body my choice" as far as "touch"... if I don't want him to touch me in a certain way or a certain place I think he should immediately remove his hands and honor my request. To respect me in that way.
He feels like it is his job as an HoH to stretch and grow me and so it means acclimating me to his touch in certain places.
I have gotten to the point where most of the month I can suffer through, grit my teeth and bear it, but I REALLY don't like him touching my vagina with his hands/fingers AT ALL! I never ENJOY it... in the heat of passionate making out and sex I can distinguish that there is some physical pleasure, but I still don't LIKE it and wouldn't seek it out.
I really think it is outside of his rights as My Man to overrule my wishes about my own body. Let me rephrase, 'cause I think he has the right to say "Don't dye your hair" or "Don't pierce your tongue"... I guess I more mean if I say "No" to him touching me no MEANS no... and he doesn't see it that way. He feels it's okay to demand kisses and hugs and me to sit in his lap...and I don't agree wholeheartedly, but I comply because I can see a place for it, but I HATE MY VAGINA being touched I HATE HATE HATE being molested and... to me if I have repeatedly told him I DONT LIKE IT! And he keeps doing it, then it's not him stretching and growing me, it's him being a selfish ass because he wants a wife who will enjoy it or like it.
I know his heart is for me... I know he actually wants my best and my good...I know that he thinks eventually I will get over my hatred and fears and be able to experience pleasure from it, so it's not ACTUALLY him being an ass, but... it's been almost 4 years and we STILL have me melting down and entire body shaking sobs when he continues... I think it's okay for me to have this one thing where I don't let him "lead" where he doesn't get to "own" it. He says for a "Dommy guy" the words "You can't have this part of me" are just an invitation to pursue and conquer that. It's like a locked door where he just has to kick it down.
I have tried the respectful route, I have tried the angry route, I have tried the "shut down and let him do it as long as you can" route, I have tried everything and he still feel it's best. I DONT.
I don't know... what do you guys think? Is there a time and place for me to say "No. I don't like it. I don't want it. No."?
**We do think someone at some point molested me and I just have no recollection**