Friday, January 18, 2013

Bad Attitudes...

(I don't mean 3/4 of what I say right now)

I fuckin' hate time outs. He decided to a "doubles night" where he starts with 1 minute and each time out after is double the one before. So I have only served 3 minutes so far. Not that bad, but I don't want time outs. I want him to fuckin back off and let me do what I want when I want how I want.

I want to kick him and bite him and scream at him.

Really I want to kick me and bite me and scream at me. I want to break every razor in the house and start a bloodbath. I want to cut off all of my hair and burn it. I want to let all of the badness out and be a good little Didi again.

That's what I want.


  1. What happened? I thought you felt a little better after the spanking, fucking and buzzing.Run, scream hit a pillow, but DO NOT CUT YOURSELF!

    1. But I dont want to run scream or hit a pillow. I want to bleed. I want to feel it run down my body. Bleeding doesnt make noise nad it doesnt hurt anyone but me.

    2. Yes it does hurt other people- it will hurt your husband and everyone who cares about you! I'm so sorry your hurting right now, but cutting is not the answer.

    3. How are you feeling this am? Better I hope. Sorry if I sounded a little bossy last night, I was just a little worried.

    4. You are so right Mrs. D. And you have such an amazing blend of compassion and love, but saying the truth "I know you are hurting, but cutting is not the answer". Thank you. *HUG*

      And you weren't bossy at all. :)

  2. HUsh... you will be fine. you just have to stop believing that hurting yourself is the answer.

    i am sorry i haven't been around lately. I have been down and out with angst and then my birthday busy-ness and then now with the flu...

    but you have plenty of blog friends around too.. write them if you need support!

    btw, what happened to luke n rita? lol

    1. I will not "Hush" :-p ;-)

      Aww, I am so sorry you've had a pile of poo for life lately. I hope you feeling all the way better really soon!! *HUG*

      And yes, I do have friends I can reach out to. I just don't want to reach out in those moments. I want to act out and be tackled.

      I dunno... my guess is he spanked her into orgasm and then she died from bliss. ;-) ;-) I can try to dig them out and clean it up a bit this weekend. :)

    2. nah.. don't bother. i'm kinda done with them too. i hope you feel better soon too!