Friday, April 19, 2013

The "Real Me"

It was commented to me yesterday that I seem like a different person when I am sharing thoughts outside of my blog, than I do here on my blog.

I was super confused by this because I pride myself on being "real" all the time. A lot of the time I feel I am "too real" or "too transparent". I share things that I wish I had kept to myself and I don't try to look like someone I am not.

So, I brought this observation up to My Man and asked him what he thought about it. His insight was that on my blog I tend to share "events" without sharing what I thought about them (this is also the other person's observation, that I don't share my thoughts or emotions of these events just "here is what happened") or I share what I am striving towards. I share the me that I want to be, the "Good subby wife" that I am working towards. Not like I pretend to be her, but more like "I want to be XYZ and here is how I am going about it"

It was noted that it's "my blog", so I can share whatever and however the heck I want, but it really concerns me if I am coming across as fake or somehow ashamed of who I am and trying to stuff be back into a closet.  I am a wife. I am a sister. I am an aunt. I am "collared". I like erotic spankings. I receive not so erotic ones when needed. I am a Christian. I want to be a mother. I was home-schooled. I can be a total brat in fun ways and not so fun ways. There are so many things that make me up, but I am "me". And it makes me feel awful if I am somehow not being "me" on my blog.

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