for those "oh so special days"

this will be me in a few weeks...

Shout Out to the most amazing man in the world!!!

I am having my first pap smear since marriage tomorrow (I think it's been 6 years?), and not only is My Man going with me, INTO the room to hold my hand and interact with the doctor with me about our fertility issues, but he also...

SHAVED MY PUSSY FOR ME TODAY!!! I can get moooost of it, but cannot get the inside or down near my butt and he got me all smooth and soft. :D :D :D He is so good at it and it makes me feel so cherished and loved.

I know loads of women who the thought of their spouse doing something that personal and "gross" freaks them out and they cannot imagine it... what do y'all think??

I am glad to be going to the doctor with my man and a bare pussy. :D

I bought...

I keep seeing it pop up various places, so I decided to get it. Dang, that stuff is pricey! On sale AND with a coupon I paid 7 bucks

Ready for another weekend(month? :)) away...

I feel like My Man and I have a lot of desires for each other physically and emotionally right now, but are physically exhausted and mentally weary and just... tired.

How do people do life in the real world? I mean seriously, in erotica it's easy because the guy is almost always crazy rich and they can spend day in an day out with each other. My Man and I get more time then many of my friends AND we don't have kids yet, so the time we do have is really our own, but it's still really really hard.

This is My Man all the way -



thankfully, I am not here yet, but this is me so much of the time and could be me come 11pm :-p


Hopefully we will both be able to get to bed at a reasonable time tonight. It's just so much more fun to stay up.... :)

Caught in the Act!!! AKA When will I learn to control myself...

So, I was "teasing" My Man by biting him, I obviously wanted some spanking going on.

But then I made it worse by running away when I got a chance and then he started really laying into me.

None of this would have been blog worthy except that we were in the living room thinking that the 2 of my brothers (21 and 18) that are here were back in the bedroom...umm no...they opened the front door to the sight of my cherry red ass. :-p :-) many laughs were had ;-)

Oh. My. LANTA!

So, I had a very tired grumpy day.

There was no fighting or anything I was just blah and very tired.

So, when I picked My Man up from work I expected we'd have a blah night.

But, I could  be wrong.

He took me out to dinner and we talked. I mean like really talked about DD, and BDSM, and subs and slaves and... what we each want and what we feel like the other person wants and what we ACTUALLY want and... it was good.

When we got home he asked if I wanted to have sex, and I thought "Why not?" Well, somehow I let it slip "If we had D-rings here I could lay in the bed and have my wrists bound." (one of the thing that came up in our convo is that we haven't done ANYTHING "kinky" other than spankings in like 6 months) So he asked "Do you want to be bound?" I wanted to be like "If you want, I dont care", but instead I took a brave little breath and said "Yes." And it was SO weird, all he had done was clipped my wrists together and I started crying and kinda shaking. He was SOOOOO tender and loving and just so patient and just helped me work through it. He really listened when I talked... and he knows the way to my wicked heart he said "Try your hardest to stop me." I was like "But you'll hurt me if I hurt you." his response "If you hit me, I will hit you yes, but you won't be in trouble." And he allowed me to fight him a little so I could get comfortable with the restraints. Then he started buzzing me and put in our little butt plug.... I think I came 4 times?? **blush** After 2 I actually ASKED him "Sir, please roll me over and fuck me hard!" **halo* **mega blush**

It was REAL GOOD. :D :D :D: :D

Still don't know what real life will look like or if I actually have a submissive bone in my body, but I would totally have that kinda sex again ;-) I wanna work up to him being able to fuck me with his...cock in my ass. **GRIN**

I LOVE MY MAN!!!

The Good, The GREAT, and the U-G-L-Y

So, I wanted to blog on the last week or so. Really the last 4 days. :-)

Sunday - So there were a few things that happened on Sunday..

1. I woke up in the morning, and before I even had really opened my eyes I had a really strong feeling that there were parents in my church feeling overwhelmed by condemnation. Like, that they felt like they were such sinners/losers that they didn't "deserve" to tell their kids about Jesus or how to live betters lives. So, I emailed my pastor about it, and he asked me to share it at church. It went SO well and I was so encouraged and SO GRATEFUL that there were a few people who told me after that they had been feeling that way and it encouraged THEM. :)

2. After emailing my pastor and dropping My Man at work I went to the library and found out that they have some really encouraging books on marriage and for women who are struggling with feeling like God isn't present in the midst of trial. AND I got a really strong desire to read my Bible more and pray more. :) AND I got a strong desire to fast meat and pray more specifically for my family. They have some things going on that really concern me and I feel like I can't control it and I get anxious and REALLY angry at my parents, and I was convicted that God is WAY bigger and loves them all WAY more than I ever could and He is in control. So, I fasted meat Sunday after lunch until Wed after dinner. :) I think I am going to try to fast meat at least one day a week until Easter. I think. :)

3. I started rereading Cherise Sinclair's "Shadowlands" series and as I was reading I started thinking about all of the ways I can bless My Man. A lot of ways I can encourage his manliness and leadership in our family. I know it sounds funny to have gotten this from fiction books, but I did. :)

4. That night his work comped him a hotel room AND he got off 3 hours earlier than he had anticipated, so we were able to have a sweet evening together. We didn't actually have sex, but we had a good time. :)

Monday -
Monday I was able to go pick up my "baby sister" whose birthday was this week and take her home with me for a few days. She is actually going home tonight. :) We went to IHOP and the Dollar Tree and then we picked up My Man and we all came home and just hung out. My Man went to the bedroom and started watching Netflix and My sis and I hung out. Oh it was President's Day, so I didn't have to watch the girls. :)

Tuesday -

Tuesday was Baby Sis' 10th b-day, we went to Chuck E Cheese's, picked up pizza on the way home, and I showed her Sims 3. She has been playing non-stop. ;-) My Man stayed in bed watching Netflix. He had been going to do laundry, but I forgot to fill up the laundry card.

Wednesday -

Wednesday, yesterday, omg... it was a rough little day. :-p So, I got up, and almost immediately went to Harris Teeter for super double coupons week. Baby Sis and I were gone for 1.5 hours. We came back at 12:30 and My Man was sitting on the couch watching tv and eating pizza with my bro. I mentioned that there were groceries left in the car, but they weren't urgent. He never got them. I ate soft pretzels and cheese sticks and ramen. Somewhere in there he went to the bedroom and came out with a fierce look on his face. Letting me know that the ornament I had placed in a laundry basket and stepped on a week or two ago and said I would clean up the broken glass...well... it was now all over the bed because I DIDN'T clean it up and he dumped out the clothes to use the basket (or so I would fold the clothes, this distinction was a high point of contention later in the day) and it all fell out. He told me to go clean it up, I explained to him I had to leave to pick up the girls AND I wasn't totally ready yet. I could tell he really needed to "deal" with this so we could move on. :)

I felt like the correct response (and so my sister wouldn't see him about to wallop me ;-)) was to go back to the bedroom and kneel on the bed so he could spank me. *I* expected his hand and "a few" swats. He immediately picked up that new crop, and I then expected 3 lightish stripies. Not his idea. After 3 it hurt, and on 4 and 5 I started saying "anxiously" "Please please please please" which TO ME is my version of "yellow" (and I would later find out it means yellow to him too). After 5 it stopped, so I was like "Thank you Lord, he is attuned to me, he is listening to me, he --- FRECK!!!" he placed two more vicious hits to my upper butt (which hurt more anyways) I immediately jumped up threw the basket that I had been leaning on and screamed "FUCK THAT!!!" and then started shaking and crying. I WAS SO ANGRY and SO SO SO hurt (it hurt physically, but I mean emotionally) in my mind he had utterly betrayed me, he wasn't listening, oh my goodness even retyping it now and knowing what I learned after my stomach is churning and I wanna cry.

We then had this intense fight where we talked and yelled and basically came to the conclusion that he DID know I was saying yellow and didn't stop. Now, I will stop here to let you lovely readers know what I DID NOT know until that night... I think he tried to explain at the time, but I was so upset I couldn't process it. We both knew I was screaming yellow...what we didn't know is yellow means different things to us. To ME yellow/Please sir means "Pause, I am approaching panic attack levels and I need to breathe before we finish this. I am not trying to take the reins or dictate how long this spanking lasts, but I need a break. Please check with me before continuing to make sure I am okay." to HIM it means "I am approaching panic attack and can only take a few more." To both of us "red" means "I am panicky stop immediately" I think :) To ME it means "this will not continue, we are 100% done you fucking bastard" OR "Something went wrong we have to stop this immediately I am in danger" I this he sees more of the second one ;-) I think the reason "red" means the first to me is because to me I have already given the indication of yellow and we are in red because he didn't listen.

Basically, I left for work a few minutes later, calmed down enough to say "I am sorry I got so angry.", but I was still SO hurt that he apparently KNEW I was saying yellow and he didn't stop. and NONE of the times we have used this hideous crop has he apologized for the fact that is hurts exponentially worse than anything else we use.

So, went to watch the girls, we went to the mall, it was fine.

Came home and he had done loads of laundry, I carried more groceries in. I went in the bedroom and found out he hadn't cleaned up any of the glass. I thought there were several reasons it would have been right and good for him to clean it up (I struggle around sharp things and they make me want to cut, he dumped the bin on the bed and that is why there was glass there, he was home in the hours I was gone etc etc etc) He was again watching tv, but he was folding clothes while doing it. . I cleaned up the glass I could find and came out and got dinner for him and my sister. About an hour later I found out the plate I had fixed him the food in the center was cold and he wanted me to heat it. NO PROBLEM except he didn't tell me an hour before he just stayed in the room watching tv. At this point I was famished, I hadn't eaten meat in 3 days, I was stressed out, it was bad.

So we all go back to the bedroom to watch Hotel Transylvania and the bed is COVERED in clothes. I fully intended to fold them while we watched, but it was so covered there was absolutely no empty spaces to put folded clothes. He has specifically asked me not to throw the clothes on the floor, so I tossed them all in baskets, thinking if I got some of the clothes gone I'd have space to fold. Only I was so tired I just...didn't.

Movie ended Sis and I are out in the main room and he comes out proclaiming that I had promised to fold clothes and hadn't done what I had said and a lot of other stuff. I followed him back to the bedroom and we just fought and fought and fought...eventually I had enough and I came out here, grabbed the car keys, and just drove away. I drove for over half a hour and then I came home. He had barely noticed I was gone, didn't know I took the keys, but we had both cooled down enough (me in below freezing temps ;-)) to snuggle and "move on" we talked more and read and basically I didn't get to sleep until after 3am, but I think we still love each other and he is still frustrated by the messy house and I am still hurt that he holds stuff over me and...yeah... we';re okay, but it was a VERY sucky day.

Hopefully today will be better. :)

Love - Young Lady

GRR...

Why is it that before I get the time to type about how well things are going we have a hideous fight?

I was so fed up/done I grabbed the car keys and I LEFT!... in shorts with no shoes or socks or coat in 25degree weather. I was VERY cold. :-p

I drove halfway to DC before I turned around. *laugh*

He barely even noticed I was gone. :-p

But he had lotsa hugs for me when I came back ,so I think the distance was good.

I'll post the good stuff later.

Aversion Therapy

(I am still laughing a lot, so this post may be jumbled :))

Ok, so I was having a "poopy" morning. I don't really know why, but I just feel...naughty? Not angry or hormonal just like being obnoxious.

So, I was teasing and tormenting my poor man and I don't remember the action/taunt, but I said it as I was running towards the door and he took our new crop and hit me REALLY REALLY hard on the back on my lower thigh.

I immediately fell to the floor overwhelmed by how much it hurt. And then I started yelling. And kicking his laptop. And basically trying to get him to see how badly he had hurt me and how he should apologize ASAP.

He didn't.

So, I stormed out and wrote a post about it on a group I am part of...which I subsequently removed because it just sounded so whiny. :)

After I had calmed down a bit I went back to talk with him, fully expecting he would apologize at this point.

He didn't.

I started being more of a brat and he started using that heinous crop. His quote was "You NEED a spanking, but because your sister is here and we have to be quiet I'll just have to keep whipping you." :-p

So, my bottom really hurting I decided I'd had enough and I went to get dressed.

After getting dressed I wanted to look in the mirror, but he has the projector set up in our room and every time I try to look in the mirror I block his projector. So I was moving it and he was like "my eyes my eyes" as it reflected into his eyes.

**wickedness descends**

I told him we are now going to do aversion therapy.

"Are you ever going to spank me again?"

Yes. **light shines** Gaaaah!!

"And again, will you ever spank me again?"

Yeees... **light shines** Aaaah!!

"And once more, Will you EVER spank me again?"

**Light Shines** No, Yes, Uhh......

"Now I must test this new theory...." **find something small and throw it at him**

**half heartedly tosses it back** I can't see, I'm tired, I I I... I just can't deal with you right now.

****VIIIIICTORYYYYYY******

I can can take your HOH's through my 5 minute plan for a low price of 19.95 plus airfare

;-)

Endnote: This "therapy" was done in good fun from both of us. I was not being a brat and he was playing along. :)

Getting to know you....

So, a few people have posted this meme (recently Hermione) So I decided to do it too!! :D

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open, It's a walk in closet and it's just like an extension of our bedroom. :D

    
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
    100% of the time, and if we are staying multiple nights, I hide the ones I took, so they will refill it. I also take all of the tea, soap, tissues... anything free. ;-) 

3. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
    Yes and no, I cut WAY more than I use, but I use them quite often. Like this week is Super Doubles at Harris Teeter (any coupon 2.00 and below will double) and I will probably use 40+ coupons over the week :D

4. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
     Big Bear, because I feel like I might have a chance to get away or something, bees are evil.

5. Do you always smile for pictures?
    Oh yeah, unless I stick out my tongue. :-p
         
6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
    Hmm... I have a lot. Probably poor parenting in public. "poor" to me at least. Both sides of the spectrum, the parents who are really harsh with their kids made me mad, but the ones that make me SO ANNOYED are the "cajolers" who are like "Come on little tommy, oh oh we don't have to throw ALL of the boxes in the cereal aisle... come on please please it would make mommy so happy." GAH! :)

7. What size is your bed?
    We have a king-size bed, pillow top mattress - mmmmm :D

8. What's your least favorite movie?
    I have seen a lot of duds, ummm... Silent Hill was the "worst" like made me feel sick movie I've ever seen, but pretty much any slap stick comedy gets me annoyed and bored. :)

9. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
    I don't dip. :)

10. What is your favorite food?
      I ***LOVE*** food, so I have tons!! I like barely medium-rare steak, I love stouffer's mac and cheese, Chicken breast that is smothered in Seasoning Salt and baked for like 3 hours, so it's crispy and like jerky, popcorn *yum*, cheese, YMMMM and if I am in the mood a chocolate ice cream milkshake with chocolate syrup and oreo - mmmmm
       
11. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
      Miss Congeniality, Princess Bride, Willow, It Takes Two, I've seen Sound of Music like 20 times :D Lion King, Beauity And the Beast :D

12. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
      No, but I always REALLY REALLY wanted to be. :)
    
13. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
       100% yes, I think it would be SO FUN!! :-p

14. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
      Probably in the last 6 months. I used to write letters during the sermon at church to all of the preteen girls. :D

15. Favorite kind of sandwich?
      French bread, roast beef, and muenster or cheddar at home, French bread buddig turkey and melted cheese sometimes, and French Dip (French bread, Prime Rib, provolone and Au Jous) at restaurants :)

16. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
      Bacon and Eggs and Biscuits or rye toast
   
17. What is your usual bedtime?
      Midnight

18. Are you lazy?
      DEFINITELY! Oh my goodness I am like a sloth. I would be so happy with a maid and a cook and I would just watch tv, read, and use the computer ALL DAY! I wish I was less so, I'd like to be able to keep my house clean, but I am sooooo lazy. 
    
19. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Actually several that were all free - Baby, Parents, Rachel Ray, Teen Vogue :-p
         
20. Do you sing in the car? 
100% and loudly! :D I dance too.
           
21. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
     I got to Target SOOOOO much more often, but I like Walmart prices
          
22. What's your favorite color?
      Pink and Black

23. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
      Well... I make the bed tucked in except for the side I get in on, but most mornings I have ripped the sheet off the bed in my sleep. My Man makes it pretty much every night. :)

24. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
      No, but I have always really really wanted to!

25. Do you like to use post-it notes?
      When I have them, but I tend to lose them or use them up fast :)

Jesus is amazing...

I am seriously in the best mood I have been in, in a VERY VERY VERY long time!!!

I will get into it later, but I had an amazingly encouraging day. An amazing evening at church. I just feeling SO excited and alive!!

And I am going to a hotel for the night FOR FREE! My Man is working late and then early, so they comped him a room and he invited me. :D We will just sleep, but... yeah :D

A Jumble of Updatedness...

Ok, so I have been sucking at writing new posts. I'm sorry I just... get into funks. :)

Here they are in no specific order

V-day -

The 13th was when we decided to go our going out and such. I had to watch the 2 girls after school, but I  convinced My Man to go with me and we took the girls to the mall. Their mom had sent me a link to free shrimp from Panda Express, so we each used one and My Man and the older girl ate it all. The younger girl and I have McDonalds. ;-)

After the girls left My Man took me to a Bar&Grill that has prime rib on special on Wed nights, and I had been asking for like a month. Turns out it was pretty nasty. :( But, we had a good time. He was stuffed from shrimp, so he just had a hot fudge sundae. :) Then we went to Spencer's and he got the nose rings and "crop" that I posted about before. Then, we saw Beautiful Creatures and I hated it because they took it SO far away from the book. (I am feeling dejavu like I posted this before?) I can't remember where in there it was, but we had sex earlier in the day before the mall and then we had sex in a mall bathroom. :D

On actual Valentine's Day we didn't do much of anything. I wrote him a long letter basically just writing various memories I have of him. We only have one car and I was using it, so I didn't get flowers or candy or a card, but he DID clean the kitchen up some. :D :D Actually now that I think of it... I brought home BBQ and we watched Pitch Perfect. LOVED IT! :D He wants me to watch The Breakfast Club now, so we might do that soon. :)

Serious Moment - Please pray for My Man's Grandfather. We just found out he has stage 3.9 cancer and it's really sad.

Funny moment - So a few days ago I was daydreaming or something while with the girls and the 10 year old looks at me and says "Get over here Young Lady!" and I stared at her and started laughing. "Why did you call me young lady??" her answer "It just fits you." :-p I asked if she has heard My Man call me that and she said no. :)

Today I am nervous because I have to go to a family "christmas" get together (we were all sick way back when) and My Man is working all day, so he won't be there. *sigh* I hate doing anything without him. But, I am going to church without him again tomorrow. I am also getting my baby sister who is turning 10 and she is going to spend 2 nights here. It's nice having homeschooled siblings, so they can be more flexible. :) I don't get along with her very well, so I really want to invest in her in this time. She is a really sweet kid, but talks a LOT and is kinda immature, so it can be hard to relate with her. She is a lot like me at that age, but I think I would have smacked me at that age. ;-) I bought her a cute dress at justice (this one I think - ) we are going to make cookie/brownie/cupcakes (I just made them for the first time and they are EPIC! :D), we're gonna watch movies, I think I am taking her and the 2 girls I watch to Chuck E Cheese, and basically I am just gonna try to make her feel special. I get along REALLY well with my 14 year old sister and have her over every couple of months for several nights, so I know baby sis feels left out. :-(

Well, I can't think of anything else. Sorry I am boring!

Happy Valentine's Pain...er, DAY ;-)

Ok, so yesterday was so sweet he took me to dinner at a place I've REALLY been wanting to get prime rib. It was pretty nasty. Lol.

Then he bought me new nose rings - I love them!

Took me to the opening night of Beautiful Minds which I REALLY wanted to see - HATED it.

Then today was supposed to be laying in bed and watching movies... didn't work out that way. It's been kinda weird.

BUT... one of the things he bought last night when he got my nose rings was a... it says "pleasure crop" and there ain't nothing pleasurable about it. ;-)

It's like this only ours doesn't have the "crop" part at the end it's just long and skinny

It's like this really really flexible thing, where you barely move your hands and it "wobbles"?

Well. I asked if we could try it out, and I emphasized over and over "LIGHTLY"....fuckin' bastard. ;-) He is a sadist. He cannot get joy out of it unless I am squealing. ;-) It's weird, it hurts WAY more than it marks... like my butt/thighs were barely pinked, but it still is stinging. At the end he did two "big ones" and they were horrible. :-p I think he found a new torture device. In good news though it is SO SO SO quiet. :) Oh, and I BEGGED him to let me try it out on him for Valentine's Day... his response " There will be NO valentine's day where I let you beat my butt" *sigh*

Things that make me feel happy and loved

My Man could not make it to church today, and I get SO freaked out going alone, but some dear friends offered to let me sit with them and then go out to dinner with them after, so I made the trek. After getting there 3 different families offered to let me sit with them. My pastor and some other people made a point to tell me they were proud of me for coming alone and they were happy I was there. I got a lot of hugs. The husband of the couple I was sitting with (who awkwardly the wife had children's ministry, so I sat with the guy ;-)) paid for my dinner and made a point of waiting for me and walking to my car with me after because "I wouldn't be a good friend to "Your Man" if I didn't..." :) I mean his wife walked with me too ;-)

My Man and I are going out to dinner on Feb 13th, so we can beat the crowds and just snuggle on the 14th. We are also going to the opening night of the movie Beautiful Creatures. I am super excited! :) I am going to write My Man a V-day letter and I hope he gets me flowers at Trader Joe's (since he reads here I am can "hint hint" ;-))

One of the sisters I watch has a study date tomorrow, so I am taking the 6 year old to Chuck E Cheese's - I love that place!! :D

I had Chipotle AND Ihop today. Not good for the weight, but amazing for the emotions. ;-)

I had several people tell me that are praying for me. That just made me feel so loved and cared for and... important in their lives?

I am not going to hurt myself tonight. I am not going to cut all of my hair off. I am not going to binge *too badly*... these things are good and should make me happy. ;-)

Ok, on to my favorite part of blogging...

I wanna go to this restaurant


Now for a musical interlude



I miss Lucy... I used to watch everyday from like 7- 12... and the spanking eps were my FAVES!! I guess I started on my journey young ;-)



Too True... ;-)

sharing this one because it disturbed me ;-)

I need you - Jesus

I am frail

Broken easily

Without fail

My strength keeps failing me

All alone

I'm powerless 

To lift myself from the pit that I am in

I need you Jesus

I need you Jesus

I need clean hands

I can't - You can

I need you Jesus

From your throne

in Heaven's light

Descended down

Into my broken life

To right the wrong

To make a way

To bear the load that I deserved to bear alone

I need you Jesus

I need you Jesus

I need clean hands

I can't - You can

I need you Jesus

On the cross

On my behalf

The Son of God

Bore the Father's wrath

And by His blood

The scars and pain

The perfect Son, took the fall and took my place

I need you Jesus

I need you Jesus

I need clean hands

I can't - You can

I need you Jesus

In His grace

and unfailing love

The risen King

Gave His hand for us

To lift us up

From the pit

And set our feet upon a rock ever stands

I need you Jesus

I need you Jesus

I need clean hands

I can't - You can

I need you Jesus

Kristian Stanfill :)

I will surviiiiiiive :)

Today is almost as blech as yesterday emotionally, but it will get better. it always gets better.

I now only care for 2 girls instead of 4 and I think it will help a lot with my stress level.

I have the next 2 days off and on Monday the 2 girls I watch will probably be at a friends house, so I might get even more time off.

I am gonna be ok.

I don't FEEL like I'll be ok, but I know I will.

So I will try to smile by looking at kitties. ;-) (not to be confused with pussies)

Can we take turns?

*sigh* I am sick of this "You're in charge" thing... I am ready to be equals. I am ready to not have to be responsible to anyone else. I am too pooped to poop. I don't even remember why I wanted this.

I am moody. :-p

It doesn't help that I am exhasuted and crying at the drop of a hat. And everything he does is "wrong"

*sigh*

I wanna go to Heaven. :)

We are getting soft in our old age(s)

So yesterday I saw a great deal on movie tickets! ($12 for 2, around here it's $12 for one) So, being the thrifty wifey that I am I bought 5 of them. Being the naughty wifey that I am I didn't ask so much as told him when I saw him that night. :) He told me I was bad and needed to be punished...and then let me off when I apologized. I think he could see the wisdom in my actions. ;-)

A question arose though... do you say you won't do it again when you know that you will? You don't plan to stop yourself in the future or you just know yourself and you know that you will transgress in that same area again? He expects "I won't do that again" as part of the apology and I can't do it. Because I know I WILL do it again. When we have children I don't expect that to be part of their apology because to me that is asking them to lie or to make a promise they cannot keep.

I find ways "around" it that are fairly acceptable with him

I will try not to do it again

I shouldn't do that again

It would be wrong for me to do that again

But, I see no reason to say "I WONT" when I am 100% sure that I WILL! ;-)

I was searching for pictures to go with this entry and came across this hilarious one that has nothing to do with this entry ;-)

PUPPY SHAMING

Wow... I had forgotten...

how amazing sex and erotic spankings and "buzzbuzz" is! :D

So, I read "A Firm Husband" by Sue Lyndon and by the time I was done I was craving a spanking SOOOO BAAAD!!!! But, I VERY VERY VERY rarely ask for it, and have stated repeatedly that it doesn't do anything for me unless I was bad.

Well... I was proved wrong. :)

I went over to My Man and laid down with my head on his chest. He looked at me and said "I can tell you want something, but you're gonna have to ask."

Me sheepishly "What do I want?"

Him : Well, one of two things, and yeah... I am pretty sure I know which one. But... you haven't been bad."

Me: I want it, I NEED IT! I read my book and -

Him: OH! You read erotica and now you need me??

Me: yes.

So... he did. (A GREAT job btw!) and then we made love with me on top (another thing that RARELY works). (after I ran to the bathroom, ripped out my tampon, and made sure there was no blood ;-)), and then I buzzed myself. Praise The Lord it was good!! Both of us had been about 2 weeks (well. I'd hope if one of us hadn't had sex in 2 weeks the other hadn't either ;-)) and I didn't realize how much I missed it. :D

Nominations :)

Ok, first to reply to Mrs. D's kind nomination



Apparently she finds my blog inspiring - I have a hard time believing this, but I feel very loved!! :-)

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

                       2.Link back to the person nominating you

                       3. State 7 things about yourself.

                       4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them.

                        5. Notify these other bloggers and give them the award requirements.

I cheated and just reposted what she said ;-)

1. Check

2. Check (Hi Mrs D!)

3. okaaay... it's hard to think of things I have no already shared... :)

A: I was homeschooled and had to get a GED, I had the highest score they had ever seen in Faquier County. I think the fact that I took the test with high-school drop outs says a lot about that. ;-) I also did the test in 1/4 of the time :-p 

B: I only eat a few cooked veggies and only slightly more raw ones. Cooked: Broccoli, Corn, Spinach if it was fresh to start with and is mixed in. Raw: Lettuce of any type, Broccoli, Spinach (LOVE!), Carrots (prefer baby), Cucumber, Alfalfa Sprouts, Olives

C: I eat even less fruit NONE cooked, and Raw: Pineapple, Apples, Oranges, VERY rarely strawberries

D: I am very near sighted and have been wearing glasses since 11.

E: I wanted 10 kids growing up and when My Man and I were on our first date we both wanted 10 children. Then it was 6. Now it is 4. Life is expensive and infertility puts quite a damper on dreams. :) At this moment I REALLY REALLY want twins. And beyond that I want to adopt in the future. :)

F: My favorite names are Lydia, Felicity, Melody, and Annie. We plan to name our sons after the tribe of Jacob (First son Judah Benjamin, Second son Levi something, Third son Reuben something :)) and our daughters after attributes (If we have twins we want to name them Melody Katherine and Harmony Marie :))

G: I have never been outside of the continental US. IN the US I have been to every state on the East Coast, and I believe every state bordering a state on the East Coast, Texas, Oregon, Arizona, and the Denver, CO Airport :)

My nominations are.... (and I am sure all of these people have been nominated, but I don't have a lot of blogger friends :))

Fondles

Christina

Rogue

Hermione

Susie

lilmisses

Kitty (who no longer blogs :( )

God's Gift (another defunct blog, but my first and fave :))

I don't read a lot of blog, so these are all of the blogs on my "list" that I read every week... well, not the last two, but they were :)