Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I give up.

Right now I feel like maybe I should just quit.

He is always going to be married to a selfish, self-willed, horrible woman. I am not made to be submissive. I don't have a submissive bone in my body. I am strong-willed and contentious and evil and I can't do this!!

But I don't know if I can go back to "plain old vanilla marriage" where... where what?? As a Christian I still think wives are supposed to submit to their husbands, so either way I am screwed.

Maybe this goes deeper than a "lifestyle choice", maybe I am not only a failure as a subbie, but as a wife and woman and human being.

And I feel like as I share who I really am on here people just see how evil I am and then they hate me. They can see I am selfish and bad to the core and they don't wanna be around me anymore.

I wanted a picture here to represent how I feel ,but they are either too light-hearted or too dramatic/dark.


  1. Oh hang in there!
    No one could be as AWFUL as me... really... My poor hubby... I feel sorry for him. I have the most unsubmissive thoughts and actions ever!

    Don't give up hope on yourself!

    1. ***HUG**** Thank you!! I think not eating enough today made everything significantly worse. :-p

      THANK YOU!!!!

  2. I don't think it's that people think you're evil. I think what they see is a situation where they don't feel very well-equipped to advise or assist and so they stay silent.

  3. Ok, deep breathe. Everything is going to be ok. First, do you WANT to submit? Does it sound fun and exciting and safe? Or dark and scary and horrible? Id ask why you want to be submissive. Is it for him, for your religion, for you?

    Despite the answers, you must try and understand that submission doesnt always come freely. For some, it is harder than for others. Your Dom is supposed to HELP you find your submission. Never force you into it. He must spend a lot of time talking to you, and you are responsible for being completely honest with him.

    If you two are not ready for a full power exchange, then dont do it yet. Talk, talk, talk. You can start slow, even with only bedroom stuff if you want. Ease into it, you have plenty of time.

    I suggest you find the blog called kitten for sir and read her owners manual. Then send him over to Dauntless Vitality and read his posts about emotions of a sub. Id link it, but Im on my phone.