I have been a SUPER good girl for days (Fondles - BE PROUD OF ME!! I bit these lips so hard they are permentantly dented ;-)), I haven't been spanked since the last time I posted about it (I want to say 3 days?), I have been pretty submissive - not like I am a doormat or anything - he doesn't want that, but I have been looking out for his needs and desires. I have been doing the diet PRETTY faithfully and exercising every day! :)
But, I feel boring. Like there is no point in blogging when I am a good girl. :-p
Sidenote - I have been struggling a lot. Like... wanting to cut, but not in a depressed way like I get these overwhelming emotions, and they feel like excitement or something, but then I have nothing to do with them. I am not acting out to relieve my stress/emotions, I am spending more time alone because My Man has to work late a lot, and I start fantasizing about cutting. Like maybe if I hurt myself it will magically make the world right? OR that if I hurt myself My Man will notice without me telling him and he will make me feel better. Which is like the dumbest thing EVER because all I have to do is say "Please help me." and he will drop everything and be there for me. I think in those moments I don't ask because I feel like there is nothing he can do to change what I am feeling, so what is the point? This is why I am so heavy - because our normal go to in this situation is "Feed her!" and there is some truth to that, when my body gets hungry I often don't register it's hunger I register it as depression or fear or excitement, so sometimes the answer IS eat. But, it's not always the answer...
Well there is my philosophical side for the day. :)