Saturday, November 17, 2012


I have been thinking that maybe the "problem" doesn't lie in whether My Man is making a dumb choice or not, but in whether I trust him.

My Man is 4 years younger than I am 9 months out of the year. You'll see when I get to his part in my life story that I thought of him as a "dumb kid" most of the time that I knew him, and even after marriage it was (still can be at times) hard to think of him as "the boss" because I just viewed him as immature.

It is really hard for me to let go and trust that he is taking us the right direction. That he is making good,wise, grown-up choices.

So, in the "dumb stuff" I am trying to just let him lead and follow even if it means people think we are dumb, immature, rude, impolite, or we get a ticket.

But, then there are things where I wonder "Am I genuinely letting him lead or am I just shirking any responsibility I may carry in this?" Example - at least 10 times in our 3 year marriage he has forgotten to set his alarm, set it at the wrong time, or it somehow "died" or "turned itself off". We have been late for several meetings, he is late for work, we miss something important. And I WANT to set an alarm myself because "I can do it right" and up 'til this point I have held myself back and let him take the responsibility for it and if we are late the blame is on him not me. Now I am wondering if it isn't a lack of trust, but a show of responsibility to set my own alarm as well, so "in case" something goes wrong we won't be late... or am I just saying "I don't really believe you can get us up in time and I need a back up plan "in case" (meaning when) you fail." ??

This is so complicate for me. Am I over complicating things??


  1. I think you should set your alarm as an act of caring and consideration. You want him to be on time for work, so you graciously take on the task of setting your alarm. To me it looks like a show of responsibility.


    1. Thanks Hermione!! I appreciate the vote of confidence. ;-)

  2. I agree with Hermione. :) This is one of the things I do for my husband - after a year or so when I realized it wasn't something he excelled at. So I hear the alarm first, I wake up, I wake him up... and he gets to wake up to the sound of my voice. Win-win. :)

    1. I am gonna set my alarm tonight just in case. :D We are meeting our pastor at 12:15 to finally hear his views on DD/D/s (oh joy ;), but we owe it to him, he listened to our side for MONTHS...and he is taking us to a buffet - yummm ;))